the massage guru

So… i went for a massage last week, in one of those shops near Changkat. I chose a full body massage, and got myself an Indonesian masseur for 45 minutes.
In the first 5min there was silence, he placed a towel on my back, so he wouldn’t touch my skin directly. Han, i think that was his name, started massaging my back and shoulders, and a few seconds later, he lifted the towel, and took a peek at my shoulders and said:
“You eat a lot of chocolate!?”
If my face hadn’t been crushed against the bed, i would’ve had a mixed expression of: WTF with OMG.
Well i don’t know how he did it, but…
I’m a chocoholic. I admit it.
So apparently my back and shoulders are suffering from all the delicious and cheap Cadbury Dairy Milk i’m eating. Well.. I got one solution for this: i’ll start to go to massages more often!
Continuing, so he kept on with the massage, and stopped again to ask me:
“You eat lots of chili?”
To which i answered “No!”, at all, i’m like a baby in chili initiation. That was confusing, cos he kept talking about how it was weird that my back were like that, without the chili.
I had no idea, but it seams eating chili and low back pain are related… Maybe just the sight of chili is hurting me!
A couple of minutes later, holding my hand, he was very surprised and said:
“You are to stressed from work. You work too much. You worry too much.”
(Me? Worried? Naaaaaaaaaaaaa.. That’s an understatement!)
He saw through me, and tried to solve the problem in my hands.
Then he went to my legs. Apparently i have a blocked nerve. He almost killed me with pain by pressing the nerve in my foot.
The nerve that goes all the way to my hip.
And hurts all the way to my hip!
In one word: painful!
So there came his last conclusion:
“You play soccer!”
Once again: WTF-OMG!
He told me my legs where very strong from playing, so the nerve was also very strong and made the pain harder to ease.
“I know! I am the one suffering from your knife-like massage!”
Then he just gave up, and said the nerve was to tense…
An amazing experience, to get back to of course, that only got better, when in another cubicle (separated by curtains), we heard a couple of times a lady masseur saying:
“No! Massage only!”
Apparently someone thought he was gonna get the famous ‘Happy Ending’!
Jokes aside, i’m definitely going back to Han, specially know that i know they don’t do ‘happy endings’ in the bed i was laying on!


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